Beyond the Wedding: A Plea for Legal Parity and Cultural Values in Modern India

The Silent Crisis: Men’s Mental Health

We are witnessing a concerning shift in our cultural fabric. The narrative of “independence” is often debated, but we rarely discuss its collateral impact on the family unit and men’s mental well-being. According to recent data attributed to the NCRB (2026), the male suicide rate in India is reportedly 60% higher than that of women. That is 1.2lacs men and 40k women.

While the causes are multifaceted—ranging from financial crunch to family responsibilities—a significant contributor is the immense pressure men face within the legal and social systems. Men are often expected to be stoic in the face of relationship breakdowns, yet the systemic support seems heavily skewed.

The Legal Paradox: Alimony vs. Independence

A core contradiction exists in our current judicial approach to marriage and separation. We champion the idea of the “independent, modern woman”—educated, skilled, and capable of leading her own life. Yet, when a marriage dissolves, the expectation of alimony often remains, regardless of the woman’s employability or financial status.

• The Contradiction: If the taking or gifting of dowry is rightly criminalized as a regressive practice, why is alimony—specifically for able-bodied, educated spouses—not scrutinized with the same lens?
• The Reform Proposal: To eliminate disputes regarding Dowry and Stridhan, we need transparency. The judicial system should mandate a comprehensive declaration of all spending and asset exchanges by both the bride and groom’s families at the time of marriage registration.
• Maintenance vs. Alimony: While child maintenance is a non-negotiable duty for the welfare of the child, alimony for an educated spouse capable of earning often feels like a penalty on men rather than a necessity for survival.

The Issue of “Fake Cases” and Gender-Neutral Laws

While amendments to protect women were necessary and well-intentioned, we must address the “50% reality”—the genuine cases versus the false accusations. When the judicial system allows the misuse of legal provisions to settle personal scores, it erodes trust in the institution of justice.

Laws should be transparent and gender-neutral. Currently, the societal burden to “provide” is mandatory for men but viewed as optional for women. True equality requires shared responsibility, not just shared rights.

Redefining “Burden”: The Dignity of Domestic Management

There is a growing misconception that household management is a “cage” or a burden that stifles potential. This view ignores history and reality. Domestic management is a skill that translates directly to business acumen.

We have numerous examples of women who have balanced traditional roles with massive professional success:

• Falguni Nayar (Nykaa) & Kiran Mazumdar-Shaw (Biocon): Titans of industry who built empires without rejecting family structures.
• Indra Nooyi: A global corporate leader who frequently speaks on the balancing act of work and family.
• Nisha Madhulika & Entrepreneurial Homemakers: Women who turned domestic expertise into flourishing businesses.

These examples prove that honoring one’s duties at home does not subtract from one’s identity; it adds to it.

The Meaning of Marriage vs. The Wedding Industry

A major root of modern marital discord is the trivialization of marriage itself. Many couples today, influenced by social media, prioritize the “event”—the pre-wedding shoots, the fancy ceremonies, and the entertainment—over the “covenant.”

Marriage is not merely about enjoyment; it is a duty and a partnership. The lack of mature, value-based conversations before marriage often leads to conflicts that escalate into legal battles involving in-laws and external pressures.

Conclusion

I write this not to diminish women—I grew up with two sisters whose ability to handle life’s responsibilities makes me incredibly proud and grateful. I write this to distinguish between the legends who fought for True Feminism (equal rights and dignity) and the current wave of “convenience feminism” that rejects duty.

Men and women were created to complement one another. To save our culture and our mental health, we must return to a model of marriage based on mutual duty, transparency, and a judicial system that protects the innocent, regardless of gender.